


Begin Again

by Sundriedlilies



Category: Carol (2015), The Price of Salt - Patricia Highsmith
Genre: AU, Angst, Drama, F/F, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-02-01 13:02:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12705552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sundriedlilies/pseuds/Sundriedlilies
Summary: In which Carol tells Therese she should’ve chosen Abby in the heat of an argument... life has a funny way of breaking you down and building you back up again.





	1. It’s More Than I can Bear

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve been obsessed with Carol and Therese since the movie came out. And I’ve had this idea in my head for a long time, and I’m just now taking it on. I hope you all enjoy, and please review if you feel compelled to!

“What did you say?”

And suddenly, the room that was filled with intangible shouting only mere moments ago, was now filled with a deafening, almost eerie silence. Therese felt her hands shake as she tried to remain calm and unscathed, but she lasted only a few pathetic seconds before wet tears began to pool in her eyes. She was hurt and embarrassed that now of all times would be the time she chose to break down. She was angry, they both were, but anger had never been a plausible excuse to hurt each other’s feelings, maybe for other couples, normal couples, but never for them.

Carol had looked just as shocked and hurt as Therese, the moment the words fell from her lips. She’d gotten swept away in a moment of petty madness, as she spewed out hurtful words in an attempt to win the argument... but at what cost? Carol felt her heart scream out in agony as she stared at Therese. She wanted to take it back, she’d never wished for anything more than to just unsay what she’d just said and to have never made Therese look at her like- like _that_.

She brought her hand up, fingers softly grazing her lips, as if she couldn’t believe she ever uttered such hurtful things to Therese. Sweet, innocent, beautiful Therese, who had loved- and loved Carol, sometimes, she thought, too much. Everything inside of her was screaming, her body was reacting, she needed to be near Therese, if only to quell the pain, but the moment Carol took a step forward, Therese took an instinctive step back.

And if ever, Carol thought she’d experienced pain- well, she’d never felt this hurt in her life. “Therese...” She muttered breathlessly as she pleaded for Therese to understand with her eyes, begged her to stay put, so that Carol could just wrap her arms around her and make her feel loved again. “I- didn’t mean it, my love, please.” She practically sobbed when Therese swiped at her eyes and looked up at her with big green eyes that begged for Carol’s words to be true.

“You said-“

“Please, darling, leave it be.”

Ignoring her Therese continued to speak in broken, choppy sentences as she willed herself to make clear of the haziness. “-that you should’ve chosen Abby.” And her bottom lip was trembling terribly, never had she felt so small in Carol’s presence. Plenty of people had made her feel like a fool in her life. Her mother, her father, and even Richard. But Carol, she’d never made Therese feel anything less than brilliant, she’d always encouraged and provoked Therese in ways that no one had ever taken the time to. It’s why Therese fell in love with her in the first place. But now, in this pivotal moment, as she watched Carol shake her head as if she hadn’t said anything at all, Therese couldn’t help but feel foolish.

“And that the only reason you ever attempted to pursue me in the first place was because you felt bad for me.” Therese recalled, what Carol said just before the bit about her regret in regards to not choosing Abby.

“Therese...” Carol could not think of the right words to say in this moment. An apology simply wouldn’t be enough, couldn’t possibly make up for anything, while an ‘I love you’ would be insulting. Her heart seemed to pause and restart at an uncanny speed, not performing well under the pressure. “Sweetheart,” And she tried to reach out for her, again, but Therese pulled her hand away just before Carol could make contact. “I didn’t mean it.”

The usual bright green eyes that always seemed to dance, jovially, with so much life, love and excitement, seemed to dim in that very moment. It was almost as if Carol could see the exact moment she completely broke Therese’s heart, and it killed her. She felt desperate to be near her now, more than ever. “Please, don’t look at me that way. I never meant to say any of those things...” When Therese merely let out a strangled breath and averted her gaze, Carol felt even more compelled to say whatever she needed to say to fix things. “Therese, please darling, you know I love you, and only you. I- I didn’t mean it.” She said again, because she hadn’t meant it. She hadn’t meant to say it, not to Therese.

Therese sighed, taking notice to how hard it felt to breathe. “You always seem so happy after spending time with her.” Now, slowly arising, insecurities Therese had never felt before. But as her jumbled and disheveled mind continuously analyzed Carol’s words, she came to realizations she hadn’t noticed.

“We’ve been friends for a long time... can we please forget that I ever said anything?”

“No.” Therese said, almost immediately. Carol had always seemed especially happy after spending time with Abby, more pleased than she had been after spending time with Therese. But had she been so blind? Had she only noticed now after Carol had screamed it in her face.

Then green eyes looked up, searching for something in a sad sea of blue ones. “Do you love me Carol?”

“More than anything.” She said wistfully, taking a step forward, and she nearly melted when Therese didn’t shy away. Feeling the slightest bit more confident, she took another step forward and when Therese didn’t move back, Carol wrapped her in a warm embrace as she fought back a sob. “You must know that I love you.”

Therese nodded against her chest, feeling hot tears slide down her face... because now, she felt unsure and she hated it, every bit of it. “I think- I need to lie down.” She said softly, keeping her head down as she pulled herself from Carol’s suffocating embrace.

“Are we alright?” Carol asked, desperate to have some form of validation that she hadn’t hurt Therese beyond repair, because she wouldn’t be able to live with herself if she had.

Already a good distance away, Therese turned, and her eyes land on a picture of her and Carol laughing in the autumn time by Jasper’s lake, a place Abby had shown Carol, and in turn Carol had taken Therese and suddenly she distinctly felt out of place. “I’m not sure.” She said truthfully. She looked at the picture for a few more long seconds and then she disappeared into their shared bedroom.

The moment the door clicked shut, Therese let her back hit the wall, she slid and sat with her knees pressed against her chest as if she had the weight of the world on her shoulders. The only thing she could think of, the only words she could hear was that of Carol’s, saying she should have chosen Abby.

X

Carol had placed the last dinner plate on the table when Therese finally re-emerged from their bedroom. The blonde had been busying herself with the presentation of her grand apology dinner that she almost didn’t notice the suitcase Therese was pulling behind her. Almost.

  
Carol glanced up and the smile that was forming on her face was quickly replaced by a hurt frown. She’d dropped the silverware in her hand upon the realization, and she felt panic creep up the back of her throat like bile. “Why do you have a suitcase?” She asked lowly, already knowing the answer, dreading the answer.

“I’ve called a friend to come pick me up.” Therese responded sheepishly, never making eye contact. She rubbed her free hand flat against her trousers, just to distract herself from the way Carol was pleading with her eyes for her not to do this.

The blonde looked over the meal she’d prepared and nodded despite wanting to fall to her knees and beg Therese for forgiveness. She wasn’t above it, she wasn’t above anything if it meant that Therese would stay. “When will you be back?” She asked shakily.

Therese had never thought Carol could look so vulnerable, but then again she’d also thought Carol was incapable of ever hurting her to this extent, and well... “I- I’m not.”

Carol was moving around the dinner table, tears in her eyes, and standing before Therese practically baring her heart in her hands. “Don’t do this. I never meant what I said, Abby and I are best friends, and nothing more. I love you, Therese, and I only want to be with you... I’ll never speak to Abby again if that’s what it will take to make you stay.”

“Then I’d be the woman who ripped a great friendship apart.” Therese sighed. “And you would hate me-“

“I could never hate you.”

Therese tilted her head as she studied the woman in front of her. “I am certain now, that you really do love me, you must. Two people don’t spend as much time as we have spent, and build as much as we have built and not have some sort of affectionate feelings towards each other.” Carol smiled sadly, brokenly with a small swell of hope as she nodded. “But I also believe, there was truth in what you said to me. You’d had feelings for Abby way before I ever came along and for whatever reason you two never had your chance, and now that I know-“

Carol’s shoulders dropped and she clutched her hands together in front of her. Even sad, and heartbroken, she was still as beautiful and as poised as ever. “-I feel as if the foundation of our relationship is a lie, thus making us a lie, Carol.” Carol was about to protest, but Therese held her hand up in a halting motion. “Nothing you can say will change the conclusion I’ve come to, and that is, I’m leaving. I feel as though we both need space from one another. I need to spend time on my own and think about what I really want out of life, and in doing so, hopefully I’m able to grow a little more and you... though it pains me to say, you can take the chance you never got with Abby. You can finally see if she’s really the one for you.” She tried to muster her most mature, selfless voice, but in the end she only sounded like a wounded child.

“You’re the one for me.” Carol challenged.

“And that may be.” Therese conceded. “But how will either of us ever be sure with the truth of your dormant desires looming over us?” To that Carol was silent, feeling as hopeless as ever. “Maybe one day, we’ll meet again, when I’m a little older and wiser, and you’re free of doubt and uncertainty. And maybe on that day, we’ll both be sure that we are all we ever needed.”

Carol looked up, tears pooling in her eyes, she opened her mouth to speak, but just as she did so, the distant sound of a car honking effectively halted her before she could utter a word. Therese gave her one last fleeting look before she hastily pulled her suitcase out the door.

Carol stood rooted in her spot for a long while after she was sure Therese was really gone. Heartbroken and completely in shock she looked around at the home that still possessed so many of Therese’s things, _their_ things, and she realized right then and there. “Therese Belivet, you _are_ all I’ve ever needed. You always were.”


	2. She Will Still Torment Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness, I don’t even know where to begin... thank you all for such kind comments, they really compelled me to get this chapter out a lot quicker than I intended to. I’m even more excited for future chapters than I was before. I can’t wait to share with you all, the journey that’s been unfolding in my mind for these two! (Sidenote) all of my stories are unbeta’d so it’s me proofreading, so if you see mistakes they’re all mine. I usually read through after I post and fix things. It’s an ongoing process. Thank you all again for your kindness!

Carol flicked the lighter and momentarily watched a small flame erupt into life. She brought it to her cigarette and dropped it unceremoniously before taking in a drag that was less than healthy. “She thinks that I’ve been harboring feelings for Abby.” And it’s been four days since Therese walked out on her. Four agonizingly long days, of Carol waiting inconsolably by the phone and staring desolately at the door, awaiting for her love to return. She and Therese hadn’t spent more than two days apart in the past three years, four days was ground breaking- it was earth shattering.

“Well, haven’t you?” Harge asked, just before glancing down at Carol’s plate of untouched food. And if looks could kill... well, Harge had always been a little clueless, even mistaking the friendship that he and Carol shared as love a few years back. And even though Harge was a bit unaware, he had always proven to be a great friend- Carol’s greatest friend in fact, just after Abby. But she couldn’t bring herself to talk to Abby, and she’d called Carol, twice, and Carol ignored her both times. In a way, she was angry with Abby, as if any of this was her fault, but she still felt compelled to answer her calls, to speak with her. And Carol felt that much more guilty for wanting to speak with Abby, as if she’d be betraying Therese... but she also felt guilty for ignoring Abby, the woman hadn’t the slightest clue as to what transpired between Carol and Therese.

Carol sighed. “I love Therese.” She exhaled smoke with every word, watching how it lingered in the air and then dissipated into nothingness. “And I wish she could just forgive me. She won’t take any of my calls. I don’t know where she is, or who she’s with... or if she’s even alright.” Her voice gave out towards the end of the sentence. Carol felt weak, powerless, in lieu of the way Therese left things. She hadn’t been crying, but Harge thought she looked as if she had. Her eyes held a certain level of melancholy that simply reached out and tugged on his heart strings. Carol was a strong woman and he’d never viewed her as anything less, in fact she’d never allowed him to view her as anything less. Carol was just that type of a woman- a riot. But what is left of a riot when the cause has suddenly vanished?

“You still didn’t answer my question.” Harge said softly, reaching over the table to squeeze Carol’s hand. It caused the woman to scoff, sliding her hand from his soft grip, she rolled her eyes.

“Harge, I was angry... I said anything that popped into my head. I wasn’t thinking clearly.” Carol said defensively.

“And don’t you think it’s a little weird that, that’s what came out of your mouth. Carol, people in relationships say things to hurt one another all the time, but they don’t say things like that just out of the blue.” Carol wanted to bury her face into her hands and sob, she wanted to hide, she wanted to take back every word she’d ever said that hurt Therese’s feelings.

“I only want Therese.” She took another unhealthy drag from her cigarette, and it was almost gone by now. “Maybe there was a time in my life when I may have felt something for Abby, but that time has passed. Therese came along and shattered everything I thought I knew, it only took time, like everything else, for me to fall deeply in love with her.” Harge sat, a bit unsure of what to say, what could he say, to soothe Carol’s aching heart. “But it is Therese that I want, not Abby.” Carol confirmed with the utmost honesty.

Harge nodded resolutely, understanding, but still offering no words. Carol was hurting, and she was trying to cope and keep herself together the best she could. “Does Abby know?” He finally asked after a pregnant pause, and Carol flashed him a look that made him regret he ever asked.

“I haven’t spoken to her, she’s tried calling... but no- she doesn’t know.”

“Will you tell her?”

Carol finished off the last of her cigarette and pressed the remaining burning bud onto the ash tray before she pushed it away. Bringing her attention back to Harge she sighed heavily. “I’ve just lost the woman I am in love with a mere four days ago. Do you think I am concerned with divulging this information to the catalyst of my relationship’s downfall?” She flashed Harge a questioning gaze and he stared her down with a new challenge in his eyes.

“No.” He replied honestly. “I don’t think you are. But it may be of your concern to at least talk to your best friend and stop blaming her for this. This isn’t Abby’s fault... Don’t let this make you bitter Carol. In the end, if Therese is really the one you’re meant to be with, you’ll both find your way back to one another.” Harge glanced down to Carol’s phone where Abby’s name was now flashing across the screen. Carol followed his line of sight and felt bitter dread wash over her.

“You don’t have to tell her about any of this, but pick up the phone, let her know you’re alright.”

X

Therese had ran and ran and ran. She wished she had wings, ones that would take her high enough into the air that she would forget her problems, and she’d fly far away, as far away from this place as she could possibly be. But she found herself, sitting alone at a park she happened to stumble upon. There hadn’t been anyone there and she reveled in the silence, and her own solitude.

She’d been in search of a calm place to quiet her mind of the plaguing, hurtful thoughts of Carol. But no matter where she went, or how far she traveled, thoughts of Carol always seemed to follow. One minute she’d remember how Carol would stare at her lovingly, when she thought Therese wouldn’t notice or the times late at night when Carol would be spooning her and peppering sleepy kisses down her shoulder. The thoughts would make her stomach erupt with butterflies, as the feeling of being loved was too overwhelming at times. She craved that feeling, she craved Carol. But in her weakest moments, moments she would be on the verge of going back home, she would be reminded that Carol had only loved her out of pity and that Abby-

Well who wouldn’t want someone like Abby, even Therese thought there was something special about her. She couldn’t compare. Over the past four days, she’d asked herself, repeatedly what did Abby have that she lacked? Surprisingly, Therese was able to come up with a list of things. And it hurt that much more, that she could prove, herself, why Abby was better than she. And those were the thoughts that kept her away from Carol, gave her the strength to not return to the woman who had become her everything.

She felt pathetic for not noticing it before... there had always been a little voice in the back of her head that told her someone like Carol would never go for someone like Therese, but she let herself get carried away with the attention Carol began to show her and, it was a foolish thing to do. Because now, every morning she opened her eyes and Carol’s arms were not wrapped lazily around her- Therese’s heart broke. Every time she got up to make breakfast and she didn’t have to consciously remind herself of how Carol liked her eggs- Therese’s heart broken. Her heart had been broken the moment Carol uttered those hurtful words, and it had broken many- many times after.

Even now, as she sat on a cold bench at the edge of an abandoned park, her heart was breaking, and she couldn’t help but feel sad. Because- Carol, she was everything, where it all ended and where it all began, and the only thing in the awful, ugly world that was anything beautiful.

How could she rebuild herself from this? It seemed absurd, and nearly impossible. She could barely get out of bed in the morning, how was she possibly going to survive without Carol?

“Hey, Miss? Are you okay?” Therese jolted, feeling her heart rate pick up its pace. She looked to her left to see a woman covered in a thin layer of sweat. She was slightly out of breath, Therese noticed for no particular reason, other than the fact that it was obvious she had just been running.

“I’m fine, thank you.” Therese said dismissively before she got up and hastily made her way away from the bench. The familiar feel of embarrassment crept up on her again, she’d been caught crying, and that woman felt sorry for her. Therese could practically hear the pity in her voice and she resented it. She never wanted anyone to feel sorry for her again.

“You’re welcome... but you don’t look fine.” To her dismay the woman had caught up to her and was now matching her stride. “For someone with such short legs, you sure do walk fast.” The stranger commented, and Therese only picked up her pace.

“Please leave me alone.” She was pleading, but the stranger didn’t know Therese well enough to pick up on that.

The woman made no attempt to go against Therese’s request, however, she also made no attempt to fulfill it either. She simply continued to walk beside Therese making the woman in question feel increasingly uncomfortable. “What are you doing?” Therese finally mustered the courage to ask, and the other woman merely shrugged.

“Well, I was going out for my usual run, on my usual route, when I happen to stumble upon an unusual woman- a very sad looking unusual woman.” She corrected herself before Therese could respond, and then she reached out her hand. “I’m Genevieve, but everyone around calls me Gen for short. What’s your name?”

Therese eyed the woman’s hand and hesitantly cake to a stop before she shook it. “I’m Therese.” Genevieve seemed to be pleased with herself as she smiled warmly, and Therese’s eyes immediately zoned in on her lips, taking notice to how they weren’t as shapely or as red as Carol’s. Before she could think better of it, Therese slapped her palm against the center of her forehead as if that would empty her mind of Carol.

Why did she have to compare everything to Carol? -Why wasn’t anything ever as marvelous as she?

Genevieve furrowed her eyebrows just before she dropped Therese’s hand. “Are you okay?” And there was that question again.

No. “I’m fine thanks.” Therese mumbled, and tried to walk away again.

“Maybe it’s just me, but I’m feeling a strong sense of deja vú... like you may have already said that line.” Genevieve commented just as she caught back up with Therese. “Look I don’t need to know your problems, nor was I trying to meddle in your business... I just thought you could use someone to talk to.” With that Genevieve had turned and ran in the other direction, continuing her daily run on her usual route. But her words somehow managed to resonate in Therese’s ears and she stopped mid stride, turning around to stare after her. She felt anger flare inside of her, Therese didn’t hear the sincerity in Genevieve’s voice she’d only manage to catch the pity and she was reminded of Carol and a love that was merely a lie.

X

Carol listened intently as the phone rang, she clutched the device with unsteady hands as she waited to hear a voice at the other end. After her lunch with Harge, the remainder of her day escaped her. It was now well into the night, close to midnight actually, and she could not take the pain of going to bed alone any longer. So she sat at Therese’s desk, looking at pictures Therese had taken with the camera that Carol bought her for Christmas, and she waited.

She could hear the painful throbbing of her own heart and she took in a deep breath in a failed attempt to gather herself before she got an answer from the other end. Though, with every passing second, every time the phone rang, Carol’s heart plummeted a little lower.

“Hello?” It caught her off guard, startling her even, hearing that beautiful voice after she was sure she wouldn’t get an answer, after being deprived of it. Carol felt almost as if she could finally breathe again, tears rushing down her face in relief, as her heart swelled with so much joy.

“Therese?” She choked out, now she pressed the phone even closer to her ear, feeling an acute longing to be near her love. Holding it delicately as if she was holding Therese herself. Everything felt right, in this moment, Carol made it up then and there that she couldn’t continue on like this. She needed Therese to know how in love with her that she actually was, how torn up Carol had been in her absence. But she couldn’t articulate or form coherent thoughts, not when Therese’s voice erupted through the line and shattered her resolve. That was all it had taken for Carol’s universe to shift from its equilibrium, if only Therese knew the true power she possessed. If only Therese had known a mere hello would do it for Carol, could break Carol, after only four days, then maybe Therese wouldn’t have left at all. “Therese, I-“

Abruptly, and without warning, the dial tone played obnoxiously in Carol’s ear. Carol took in a sharp staggered breath as she tried to cope with the harsh reality of what just happened.

She felt like a school girl, experiencing her first true heartbreak. She was too old for this kind of conflict, Carol should have never let this happen. She blinked rapidly as more tears fell and she continued to listen to the dead call, refusing to hang up as if Therese would call back. “I miss you, darling. I miss you so much- please, please come back to me.” Almost every word was chopped, and it was far too late to have said anything at all, but Carol couldn’t help herself. Maybe if she put it out to the universe, the universe would bring Therese back to her.

And on the other side of town, in her old run down apartment, which just so happened to be all she could afford, Therese stared at her phone as if the device had just ripped her heart from her chest. The selfish parts of herself wanted to answer the phone, needed to answer, only to hear that voice. But, Therese was still learning... now the broken parts of her screamed in anguish, wanting more, compelling her to get up and go to Carol. And Therese was shaking, physically trembling, to quell that urge. She clutched on to the sides of her seat and tried to focus on anything, the distant sound of an ambulance siren, the whaling cats outside of her window, a baby crying- just anything aside from the sound of Carol’s broken voice or the way, hearing her speak seemed to mend her broken heart just for a fleeting moment.

Therese used a shaking hand to push the phone further away from her, not trusting herself in the event Carol called back. Because she would answer, and she would apologize endlessly for everything, Therese knew herself and she had never been strong before, this time was no exception. She felt all of her resolve crumble, and if Carol would just call once more, she’d put an end to the anguish. Therese would return home.

Alas, Carol did not call again...

 


	3. She’ll Never leave me, Even as she Fades from View

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! So I feel like after reading through your comments, I want to make a few things clear- even though you guys are pretty freaking spot on!!! First things first, and I hope this isn’t a spoiler for anyone but I never intended for this to be a secret... Therese and Carol are always endgame. Now how they get there, well... let’s just say it’ll be a journey. I also want them to spend time apart, because I feel like it’s vital that they do. Carol, I want her to come to certain conclusions of her own, first (and most of you already have a good idea of what those conclusions need to be) before she and Therese can move forward. And I want Therese to, yes, grow up a little and navigate through life by herself for a change. Basically I want her to develop and grow into her own dynamic, and beautiful self before she tries to give her love away naively. Because how can you love someone else, truly love someone else if you’re not utterly and completely in love with yourself? -They both got issues, Therese AND Carol... Also Harge was never Carol husband in this fic, and Rindy does not exist, or maybe she does, but definitely not as Carol’s daughter. I didn’t want to make Harge out to be the bad guy because, and I know I’m one of few, after experiencing my own heartbreak a while back (and at a very young age) I developed a sympathy for the person who is left behind sometimes, no matter if it’s male or female. Sometimes when you’re heartbroken, you can be a little mean to the person you love most. But that still doesn’t mean you don’t love them (Isnt that right Carol?). I did feel empathetic towards Harge in the movie, because in my opinion he was hurting, and lashing out. Now I don’t agree with how far he took things, but he’d only fallen in love and was trying desperately to hold on to something that hurt. And ladies and gents, I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced it, but being in love with someone who doesn’t love you flippin hurts- with that being said, Harge and Carol, will never. NOT in my fics anyway. Please, read on! Thank you All for taking the time out to leave your lovely comments, I read them all and I am glad you guys are enjoying this fic. I hope I do not disappoint. All mistakes are mine, and I promise I will get to them!

The night air was fresh, crisp. The autumn wind blew gently through the air dancing softly across alabaster skin in a way that made Therese’s nerve endings tingle. She clenched and unclenched her glove covered hands, staring at them with trepidation. “I didn’t want to come here Dannie.” She huffed, causing a puff of air to linger in the cool air before vanishing. Therese, didn’t know why she let Dannie rope her in to going to the Carnival, and in twenty degree weather. She didn’t long to be around light spirited people when she was in such a wretched state.

“Well neither did I.” His smile was smug as he tore off pieces of cotton candy and pushed them into his mouth, only offering Therese small pieces intermittently, which she would refuse each time. “But we haven’t been to a carnival in a long time.” Dannie said through a mouth full, causing Therese to grimace at him. He only laughed and reached down to grab the bottle of rye that sat beside his feet, taking a swig before he offered it to Therese, and she tried to refute his attempt yet again. “You need this more than I do...” Dannie said while still holding the bottle towards her, and Therese seemed to contemplate it weighing out her odds, before she came to some sort of conclusion, and took the bottle.

She turned it up to her lips, and took three big gulps before Dannie reached over, laughing, and took the bottle. “Slow down, this has got to last us the rest of the night. All of the liquor stores are closed.” Had it been that late? Therese looked down at her wrist watch, gathering the time. Instinctively, she reached for her phone and unconsciously began to dial a number she’d known by heart for years now. Dannie glanced down with furrowed eyebrows, trying to figure out his friend’s erratic behavior. “Who are you calling this late at night?”

“Oh, just Carol.” And it wasn’t until after she said it, that realization sunk in, and she completely froze. Her offended hand began to shake before she erased the numbers and stuffed the device back into her jacket pocket. Her intentions were to call and tell Carol that she’d lost track of time, and that she would be home soon, just as she always did when she was running late. But bitter discernment caught up to her and she found herself reaching for the bottle of rye all over again. “No one.” She corrected herself before taking another swig.

Dannie eyed her and contemplated if he wanted to explore that topic, make Therese explore the topic of Carol any further. His brown eyes seemed to recognize the sadness in her features and the way she hadn’t been giddy about the Carnival. This was always something Therese would love to do, Dannie hadn’t brought her here because he liked or even wanted to be there, but then Therese had said earlier that she didn’t want to be there either. “What are you doing for work?” He decided to ask instead of bringing up Carol, feeling sure that Therese needed ideas about something else in her head.

Therese shrugged as she watched all of the happy couples walk around them, enviously... longing for just that, wielding the ability to be happy together with no fault in their beauty. “Nothing really.” And she didn’t miss the way Dannie flashed her a look of disapproval.

“Well how are you paying for your apartment?”

Therese sighed as if having this conversation was physically too much for her, and truthfully, it was. It was hard enough to think about the struggles she would soon face, living a new life on her own, on top of the heartbreak she still felt very prominently. “I used the little bit of money I had in my savings for the security deposit and first month’s rent. It was money I got from selling pictures I took on my leisure...”

“Well that’s it.” Dannie said through a smile. “You could pick back up on that. You still like photography, don’t you?”

Therese nodded her head, but truthfully she hadn’t picked up her camera in months. She honestly didn’t think her talents were enough to get her very far. “I don’t know who would take me.” She said as emerald eyes gazed aimlessly at their colorful surroundings, actively avoiding any couple who looked remotely happy together.

Dannie moved his head from side to side as an idea struck him. “There’s a job opening at the Times, and you’d only have to do one interview.” He mentioned, and Therese immediately looked up to him with a disbelieving gaze. There was no way she was good enough to earn a job at the New York Times, nor would she know how to conduct herself during an interview. Feeling discouraged, before she gave herself a fair chance, she shook her head.

“Oh, I don’t know anything about professional photography. I just take pictures of anything really, and it’s mostly for just for fun.”

“Well that qualifies you just as much as anybody else. Believe in yourself a little, besides, we could really use a photographer.” Dannie continued to smile at her, encouraging her to cave, and Therese truly did need the money. She was coming up on week two in her apartment, which left her only a mere two more weeks to have rent for the second month. It was a long shot, and she didn’t have the highest hopes when it came down to it, but she found herself nodding anyway.

“Okay... I guess it’s worth a shot. I can have a portfolio ready by Monday.” Which left her with two days, to rummage through old photos and scour the city taking new ones.

“Right on, you can meet me at the front of the building at ten a.m. and I’ll tell the boss lady we’ve got ourselves a prospective photographer.” He smiled at Therese, again, and for the first time in what seemed like ages, Therese smiled back at him... even though it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

X

Therese sat nervously with her hands clasped together, Dannie had told her to sit and wait. She was feeling quite anxious, tapping her foot quickly against the floor. Therese wasn’t good at this sort of thing, she felt intimidated from the moment she walked through the doors, taking notice to how well dressed everyone was, how immaculate the place looked. Immediately, she had wanted to turn around leave, but Dannie assured her she had nothing to be nervous about and led her into the back offices.

Green eyes found the clock and followed the second hand, exactly six minutes had gone by and it felt like eternity. She’d shifted in her seat, readjusted her skirt, and looked through her photos, both old and new and got discouraged all over again. All within a measly six minutes. “This was a mistake.” She mumbled to herself, before quickly standing and hastily gathering her belongings.

Right as she was adjusting her purse strap on her shoulder, a soft voice cut through the air. “Dannie was going on and on about this new photographer, saying she’d be a great asset around here... I didn’t realize he was talking about you.” Therese turned in surprise, and to her dismay she recognized this woman almost immediately. Dressed in a pencil skirt and a matching blazer, Genevieve stood with her arms folded across her chest, leaning casually against the wall.

“You?” A wave of dread washed over Therese, remembering how impolite she was a few days back. “Please don’t tell me you’re the-“

“The one and only.” Genevieve smiled as she turned to leave, summoning Therese only after she was walking away. And Therese followed her aimlessly, feeling as though somehow the universe was against her in every way. She was sure there was no way she’d get the job, and she was sure, now more than ever, that she didn’t exactly want the job.

“Have a seat, Therese.” Genevieve offered once they were in the confines of her office, motioning towards the chair that sat opposite of her desk. “Would you like anything to drink? Water, coffee, tea?”

Therese didn’t even, couldn’t even bother with a verbal response as she shook her head in decline. And She couldn’t help but to notice how different Genevieve looked in her work clothes, a vast contrast to how she’d looked the first time Therese saw her. She looked- professional, like a true woman of business- someone who meant business, very intimidating.

“Then let’s get right to it.” Genevieve motioned for Therese’s portfolio, taking her time to flip through each page, even stoping a few times. All the while Therese kept her eyes glued on Genevieve intently, wishing she could know what Genevieve was thinking. Minutes felt like hours and what was, in reality only about 10 minutes, felt like an eternity before Genevieve’s brown eyes left the portfolio and met Therese’s expectant gaze.

“Is it terrible?” Therese asked, taking her bottom lip between her teeth.

Genevieve’s eyebrows raised before she closed the booklet and rubbed the flat of her hand over the cover. “No, not at all, it’s actually quite- it’s quite lovely.” Therese furrowed her eyebrows in a questioning manner, feeling as though there would be a but. “Can I ask you something?” Genevieve asked after a short pause.

“Go ahead.”

Genevieve placed Therese’s portfolio to the side and walked around her desk. “What inspires you?” The question was simple enough, one that Therese should’ve easily been able to answer, however, when she opened her mouth she’d found that no words would form. So in an effort to not make herself look like a fool she simply clamped her lips shut. Genevieve waited, gauging Therese for more of a reaction, but when she was only met with silence, Genevieve only gave an over-exaggerated nod. “A few days back, when I saw you for the first time, I thought- wow, she looks like a disaster.”

“Why, I’ve never-“

“Wait, just wait a second.” Genevieve halted her before she could get up to leave. “I’m not trying to offend you in any way, I’m just pointing out that you looked hurt...” Genevieve dropped her eyes and fiddled with her fingers. “And I’d like to venture to say that you still are hurt.”

Therese felt her lip curl, already feeling defensive. Anger was boiling over inside of her for no apparent reason, other than the fact that there was someone outwardly noticing her pain, that she was so desperately trying to avoid. “I don’t know where you’re going with this.”

“You should use your pain- whatever it is. Whatever hurts so bad, you should use it to inspire you Therese, let the pain help mold you, guide you.”

“I don’t see how this has anything to do with my work?” She countered.

“Oh it has everything to do with your work. This-“ Genevieve reached back to grab Therese’s portfolio and handed it back to her. “-is a book full of meaningless shots. Mind you, they are very well taken, lighting, angles the whole nine yards, but what do they mean? And most importantly, what do they mean to you, Therese?”

Therese blinked, holding a blank expression on her face. She was barely prepared for this interview, barely prepared to find that a familiar face would be over her if she got the job, and the least prepared to answer any of Genevieve’s questions. “I- I guess I’ve never really thought about it.”

“Your work is good.” Genevieve concluded. “But it could be better.”

And that was that. Therese stood feeling even more defeated than she’d ever felt, and she hated Dannie for ever suggesting this. She couldn’t fit in, somewhere this prestigious no matter how hard she tried. “Thank you for your time.” Therese mumbled before exiting the office. She needed air, being in that enclosed room with Genevieve was nerve wrecking and she felt suffocated.

“Therese...” She’d called out after the other woman had made it almost halfway down the hall, and Therese had turned without thought. “Be here at eight o’ clock sharp.”

“Eight o’ clock? But why?”

“Why else? You got the job... You’re clearly talented, and you have great potential. I’d be a fool to let you walk out those doors.”

Therese blinked in pure astonishment, and Genevieve was gone before Therese could even process anything, leaving her stand in the middle of the hallway in her own confusion. She hugged her portfolio to her chest and for a few long moments she stared at nothing at all. Then slowly, but willfully, a small smile broke out onto her lips... and this time, it reached her eyes.

X

“I’m so proud of you Therese!” Dannie beamed at her, and they were standing just outside of the Times, feeling giddy about Therese’s recent accomplishments. She looked better, physically, she seemed to hold a glow about herself. No more sad eyes and slumped shoulders, Dannie noticed. “What do you want to do now?” Dannie asked, fully expecting her to say something along the lines of: let’s celebrate, because he’d already made the dinner reservations.

But something shifted in Therese all together as she looked into her friend’s eyes. Suddenly her green eyes were pleading for something, something that Dannie knew he couldn’t provide. She’d been so happy seconds ago, and now- well now her eyes were telling a completely different story. The smile that was there only lingered briefly before it was completely gone, and Therese looked at Dannie again with a renewed dispirited realization.

  
“I want-“ She huffed painfully. “The only thing I want to do is call Carol, and share my excitement with her.” She said softly, and Dannie stepped forward, fully intending to wrap his arms around Therese in a gentle hug. But she didn’t want affection, she wanted space, so much space. “This is by far the best thing that has happened to me in- in a long time.” Therese pulled her head away from Dannie’s shoulders meeting his gaze with melancholy green eyes. “And I only wish to share my happiness with her, and the fact that I can’t... makes me feel a bit robbed.” Stepping out of his embrace Therese, smiled, her best smile that she could muster given her recent revelations.

“Thank you, Dannie, for everything.” It was only after she turned to leave, that the emptiness and sorrow felt like too much, realizing that even her happiest moments could never be all too happy, not anymore, not without Carol.

* * *


	4. I Close my Eyes, but She’s Still There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! I cannot say thank you enough to everyone, commenters, hitters, bookmarkers! Everyone, I really do adore you all! Also, we will definitely get to the Why’s of the situation. Like why were they even arguing in the first place? But in due time, I want to add that in a creative way, but I’m sure one of our lovely ladies will talk about it eventually when feelings aren’t so, volatile. Also, one commenter asked why Therese won’t talk to Carol even though she’s suffering more without her. Agreed, she definitely is, however Therese truly believes Carol has feelings for Abby and she wants to allow Carol the space and time to pursue what she thinks Carol wants because she loves her. Basically Therese is being selfless, giving up the person she loves for her to be with someone else because it’s what Therese thinks she wants. Hopefully that helps a little!! Well I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, but something tells me, I may not be the most liked after this one!! P.s. all mistakes are mine, and I will get them!!

Carol’s sea blue eyes swiftly flickered down towards her phone after it had lit up for what seemed like the millionth time today. She’d locked herself away, for the better parts of the weekend, only confining herself to the sunroom in her home. Hands covered in paint, hair pulled back, and clothes stained with blotches of reds, greens, and oranges all over them. She’d gotten a burst of inspiration, and it happened from a dream- a dream of Therese. One that broke her heart the moment she awoke. It was a dream that felt too real, Therese had come back to her, had told her leaving was a mistake and that she wanted to work things through. And Carol was swooning the moment she laid eyes on her.

But then she awoke, a line of tears streaming down her face when she was met with cool sheets instead of Therese’s inviting form beside her. She felt as if she should be used to it by now, it’s been nearly three weeks, but she wasn’t accustomed to this new life- hadn’t found the joy in it yet- but would this ever be joyous?

Her phone was lighting up again, and it was Abby- again. Oh Abby, who had been desperately trying to reach out to her friend- who had left message after message, and relayed things through Harge to communicate to Carol. Abby couldn’t understand what happened, and how could she? When Carol decided to keep her in the dark, Carol decided to ignore her instead, feeling as though if she met with Abby it would be the confirmation to the end of her and Therese. But it was a silly thought, she only felt more ostracized and alone by depriving herself of one of her most important relationships.

She was torn, because of the guilt that coursed through her blood. She wanted to confide in Abby, tell her of this heartbreak that ate away at her, but Therese... But, Therese.

Carol folded both of her arms over her head, paintbrush loosely clutched in one hand and she sat back to admire her unfinished work. It was of a small bistro, the sun was setting and not that anyone else besides Carol would know, but it was right in the middle of summer- the hottest day of that summer she recalled. She and Therese had gone to that very bistro, and Carol had been in a mood all day, not feeling up for being out in the sun all day, but they had, anyway, because Therese wanted to. Admittedly, Carol didn’t behave her best, and Therese noticed it, but she didn’t mind- or she didn’t care, because the moment she took her seat at the small table, just opposite of Carol the words ‘I love you’ came tumbling from her mouth, as if she merely couldn’t hold it in any longer. Taking Carol completely by surprise. Therese said it first, of course she said it first... at the very bistro Carol had painted into life.

After her dream, she felt inspired to create something that reminded her of Therese, it gave her a false sense of security. As if she could trap one ‘I love you’ one moment in a picture, she’d have it forever- and she would. She would always have the- the memories.

Then her phone lit up again, and this time it was accompanied by her doorbell. The abrupt disruption of silence, caused Carol to slightly jolt, dropping her paintbrush in the process. “Damnit.” She hissed, because it was Abby, it had to be. Carol knew she’d come around eventually, Abby was never one to take kind to being ignored.

She reached down and grabbed the fallen brush and placed it back in its rightful holder. Carol stood with a start, nearly tripping over her own feet as she wiped her hands on her apron. Feeling as if the short distance to her living room door was a trudge through quicksand, she felt dread wash over her. She didn’t want to see Abby just yet, and she didn’t want to be reminded of breaking Therese’s heart.

The moment she swung the door open, before she could even process what was happening, she felt two lithe arms wrap around her neck. “I’m so glad you’re okay.” Abby breathed, as if she had been holding her breath for a long time. “And you better have a good excuse as to why you’ve been avoiding me, because if not, I’m going to kick your ass.” Carol blinked, feeling unsure of herself, but then she brought her arms up and wrapped them around Abby’s upper back anyway. Because despite all the guilt and shame of her own behaviors, one thing still remained, Abby was Carol’s best friend and she missed her.

“And what’s this? You’re painting again?” Abby said after she pulled away and got a good look at her friend. “You haven’t painted in- years. What’s this about?” Abby looked pleased, pleased to finally see Carol, happy to have her friend in the same vicinity as herself, and anxious to know what was keeping Carol from her all of a sudden. Then slowly her eyebrows began to furrow, there was sadness in Carol’s eyes, and Abby hadn’t expected it.

Before Abby could mention it, sensing the shift in attitude, Carol stepped to the side inviting her in. “Sorry, I’m a mess right now, you caught me at a bad time.” She said just before hanging her apron on the coat rack, and following Abby into her living room. “Can I get you anything to eat or drink, I have-“

“Carol I just came by to see you.” Abby turned and began to take off her coat. “Why haven’t you been answering any of my calls? I spoke to Harge the other day and he implied that you may be going through something. I thought that maybe if you were- you’d call. But you didn’t.” Brown eyes searched blue ones for some form of an answer but Abby found herself looking away when Carol didn’t offer one. “And you’ve been ignoring me- did I do something wrong?” Abby asked in confusion, clearly desperate to sort all of this out.

“No you haven’t done anything wrong.” Carol was holding back something, that much Abby was sure of, she didn’t seem like her normal self at all, but what was it? They’ve shared everything with each other since they were ten years old, never had they had secrets, never had Carol shut her out like this and never had Abby been so worried for their friendship.

“Then what is it Carol? Talk to me... Did you do something?” Abby was really only trying to figure things out, throwing out ideas that she had no lead on, so it wasn’t exactly the biggest surprise that she found herself completely in shock the moment Carol let out a sigh of frustration and looked at her as if she was nearly on the brink of tears. Abby was by her side in an instant. “What’s happened? Talk to me, please?” She implored softly.

Carol shook her head at the guilt she felt once more, everything was a mess, Therese and now Abby. All of this was wrong. “She left.” Was all Carol could venture to say in hopes that Abby wouldn’t prod her any further than that.

“She-? Therese? Therese left?” Innocent confusion laced Abby’s voice as she struggled to make sense of it all. “When, why? Where did she go?” So many questions, too many in fact, and Carol felt her chest constrict painfully.

“It’s been nearly a month now since I’ve last seen her, and almost two weeks since I was last able to make contact with her. She refuses to let me talk to her.”

“But why?”

“Because of something I said to her.” Carol replied rather gravely.

“No, that couldn’t be it.” Abby said before sifting through her purse and pulling out two cigarettes, handing one to Carol, and sticking the other in her own mouth, she shook her head. “She loves you entirely too much, there must’ve been something else. I don’t think Therese would just up and leave over something you’ve said.” She held the lighter to her own cigarette, and then to Carol’s, inhaling its contents after she dropped her lighter back into her purse. “There has to be something else.” Abby repeated.

And there must’ve been, Carol thought as she eyed her friend... even Harge questioned her about it- about harboring feeling for Abby. Therese wouldn’t just leave, not unless she truly believed what Carol had said. “I’m afraid that what I said may have invalidated our entire relationship.”

“Carol what could you have possibly said that was so bad?” There was a thought, and Abby looked at Carol expectantly, awaiting the details of what transpired. But Carol couldn’t- she couldn’t actually tell Abby what she’d told Therese, because wouldn’t that be the ultimate betrayal? And aside from that, Carol wasn’t sure if she could even handle Abby’s reaction- and how would Abby react even?

“It doesn’t matter- all that matters is that I lost her, and I’m not sure if I’ll ever get her back.”

Abby wanted to push it, she wanted to know why Carol was isolating herself, blaming herself for all of this. “Is this the reason why you haven’t been talking to me? Why you’ve been ignoring me?”

“I haven’t really been talking to anybody.” Carol tried to dismiss Abby’s question, but something in her brown eyes flashed and Carol knew Abby wasn’t going to let this go so easily.

“But that’s not true, you’ve been talking to Harge, even having lunch with him.” She accused and there’s a distinct shift in the atmosphere, making Carol automatically feel defensive. “And I’m not just anyone, I’m- I’m your best friend, Carol. Does that mean anything to you at all?”

Entitled, Abby felt entitled to be privy to Carol’s feelings- because that was how they’d built their friendship. It was based on honesty, and the shared knowledge of what was going on in each other’s lives. That’s how it had always been. Carol sighed, feeling defeated, and not mentally geared up to have another fight with someone that was so important to her. “Yes, Abby, I’ll have you know that our friendship means a great deal to me.” She said clearly bothered, by everyone continuously questioning the validity of the bonds she’s formed.

“Then I don’t see what pushing me away will accomplish when you are so clearly in need of a friend.”

It was at the tip of her tongue, she almost let it slip, the reason Therese had left. She almost blurted it out right then and there, and then maybe Abby would let it rest, she’d stop asking so many questions. “Maybe I just want space.”

“Away from me?” And she sounded hurt, looked hurt even, causing Carol to immediately reach out for her hand. Abby seemed to find some solace in the action and she sighed heavily. “Are you sure that I didn’t do anything wrong? Because if I find out that I’m some how the adversary here, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself, or you- I wouldn’t be able to forgive you.”

Carol opened her mouth to speak and found herself mute. She tried to hold it back, but the pleading gaze in Abby’s eyes compelled her to speak again- against her own will. “I told her that I should’ve chosen you.”

Abby blinked rapidly for a short while, before she slowly pulled her hand away from Carol’s. There was palpable tension in the air now, as she stared blankly, and unsure of what to do or say next. “What did you say?” Were the only words she could think to say, but she really didn’t need to hear it again nor did Carol intend on repeating herself. “But why would you- what made you say something like that?” There was a pause, and Carol could practically see the wheels turning in Abby’s head. Her eyebrows furrowed and then straightened back out, she posed her lips to speak- multiple times, but nothing ever came out.

Carol felt wrong, very wrong, and the way Abby seemed to need space all of a sudden made her feel worse. Carol almost accused her, she almost wanted to say, ‘now do you see why I’ve been avoiding you?’ Because what good is it if Abby knows? But what good is it if she doesn’t know? Carol watched her with apprehensiveness as Abby now refused to look at her, this was uncomfortable- and they were never like this with each other. There was a feeling of dread that washed over Carol all over again, almost identical to the feeling she had when she said it to Therese, now with Abby.

“Did you mean it?” Abby asked suddenly, cutting into the thick tense air. Then Abby was looking at her in a way that made Carol feel— unsure, despite wanting to deny any and all accusations. Her initial reaction to want to scream ‘no’ died upon meeting warm and alluring brown eyes. She couldn’t answer that question, couldn’t bring herself to find any truth in the statement, but maybe there was something, maybe— her heart still longed for Therese.

She hadn’t meant it- but what if... Frustration was begin to make itself known in the form of a red tint on Carol’s cheeks. She was angry and confused and... hurt. Why did everything hurt so badly? —Because she wanted Therese, more than anything in the world, and yet here she was sitting in front of Abby feeling completely vulnerable, exposed and utterly and embarrassingly enough, she was rendered speechless. Unable to deny anything.

Because what if- what if she had meant it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cate Blanchett sat in the hot seat with Ellen Degeneres not too long ago and said that her favorite co-star to kiss was Rooney Mara. Also, the whole thing was hilarious if you’re in need of a laugh- from the real life queen herself. (This is my apology gift for the ending on this chapter.)


	5. Be Apart of Everything I Do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!!! I swear I meant to have this up last night, but when I went to post it the archive was down, and I completely got sidetracked with Atomic freaking Blonde. Omg. 
> 
> First up, Carol and Abby were never a thing in this fic, only friends! I’d also like to think that they’re both evenly matched as far as who’s there for them. Carol has Harge and Abby (even though she’s the pending affliction) and Therese has Dannie and now, Genevieve. When I write I like to put myself in each character’s shoes and I think, honestly C and T [in this story] are a reflection of some version of me. (And I don’t make any sense at all) Like how Therese just up and left because she was so irrevocably hurt in that moment, and how she refuses to go back to Carol even if she’s suffering without her. Definitely me. Also Carol, and how she said something hurtful and now is experiencing feelings of confusion and remorse, questioning herself and feeling unsure because after all- she did say it. been there before (hard) af. -so hopefully, as hurtful and confusing and stupid (at times) C and T may seem as they navigate back towards each other, you can find the relatability in it all... also don’t be so hard on C, sometimes we don’t always have the clearest vision, especially when we’re hurting (or angry). Thank you all and happy reading!!

“Carol?” Therese blinked once and then twice, feeling her world completely halt its rotation, and for the briefest of moments she was sure that her heart had stopped beating. Because- she was marvelous, more now, than she was before. And Therese had been instantly drawn to her, as if they hadn’t spent any time apart at all. So it was true then, what they all said about distance making the heart grow fonder, because even though they’d spent nearly a month apart without so little as even a letter, Therese’s heart still filled with so much overpowering fondness.

“Therese?” It was as if she’d heard the sweetest sound that could possibly grace her ears, stilling the moment she heard her name being called in a way that sounded so much like- _home_. Carol turned, anxious to see where that voice had come from, and the site of Therese was nearly enough to bring her to her knees. Carol had never faced somethinng so heart wrenching and unnerving as simply being face with Therese. And she looked- different. But it was a good kind of different, she looked graceful in a way that Carol had never recognized her to be, poised and alluring.

Therese had been leaving the Oak Room after a meeting with Genevieve when she spotted Carol just across the way, and her feet carried her, took her before she could think anything of it, almost as if her body was simply acting on its own will, tired of being deprived of the one thing it wanted most. The one- person Therese had spent so much time avoiding, and seemingly trying to forget. -Though her attempts were futile, no matter how much effort she threw into it, Carol was a part of her heart, she couldn’t forget her, try as she might, she simply couldn’t.

Carol intook an abnormal amount of air as she tried to fight the urge to snake her arms around Therese and claim her lips, demanding that she come back to her, because she’d missed her, and she loves her- very, very much. “Therese, my darl-“ Abruptly halting her sentence, Carol had to remember herself, briefly losing site of their situation, she cleared her throat and dropped her disconsolate eyes.

And despite herself Therese wanted to take one step forward and place a reassuring hand in Carol’s, telling her that it was okay, she could still- they could still... but not really, they couldn’t fall back into the normality of the way things used to be, because things had changed. Carol and Therese were different now.

“I do apologize.” Carol smiled painfully. “It’s lovely to see you.” She said honestly, and what were they to do now? Was she to move in closer- for a hug? A long overdue kiss? Was Therese even happy to see her? What was Therese even doing at a place like the Oak Room? She would have never-

And with so many questions swarming around in her head, Carol’s only plausible and resounding thought was to extend her hand out towards Therese, in a very robotic and unmistakeable business like gesture. Because that’s what they were now, they no longer held the privilege to greet one another with sweet kisses or warm, inviting hugs, they’d both reduced what they had to greeting one another with- a handshake? As if they weren’t, at one point, the greatest love of each of their lives, as if they were merely old colleagues.

Therese glanced down to Carol’s slightly shaking hand, and felt sick all of a sudden, as if at any moment she would turn to the side and heave up all the contents in her stomach. A handshake, she thought, it was a slap in the face, but Therese took Carol’s hand without outwardly protesting and she shook it weakly only lingering for the briefest moment before retracting her hand. “You look amazing.” She hesitated for a moment before quickly regaining her courage. “Beautiful.”

Carol felt beside herself, because staring at Therese, she was magnificent. "You do to." She let her eyes flutter shut because this was heart breaking, it hurt to have Therese standing in front of her looking so- changed, and Carol had missed all of it, she was missing it. “Do you want to come sit inside for a bit? I’m just waiting for-“ _Abby_ , she was going to say, but then her words got caught in her throat. Seeing Therese for the first time in almost a month made her forget why she’d gone to the Oak Room in the first place, and it was to meet with Abby, to have dinner and talk- because they needed to talk more about everything. But Carol couldn’t bring herself to say Abby’s name, feeling frightened that Therese would simply turn and leave without ever talking to her again. And she couldn’t deal with that, not while she had Therese in her sites. “-for a friend.” She finished lamely.

“Okay.” Therese nodded instantly, not wanting to leave just as much as Carol didn’t want her to go. And they made their way inside, Therese leading the way. She chose two seats off to the side, a bit secluded from everyone else. The moment they sat down, Therese took one good look at Carol and she couldn’t help herself. “I miss you.” She breathed, and Carol in turn reached across the table taking Therese’s hand in hers for a second time that night.

“Then why are we doing this to ourselves?” She asked, because this, all of this was chaos and it was madness. Everything was painful, and nothing made sense anymore- so much confusion and too many damaged hearts, Carol only wished for this to end. And to end so with Therese coming back to her.

Therese stared down at their joined hands and sighed. “I don’t even remember what we were fighting about.” She hadn’t, everything was a blur, she could only remember being upset, then some shouting and then Carol saying those words and then- leaving. It all almost seemed silly, enduring this much torture and misery, for one argument. Carol said she hadn’t meant it, But- Therese sighed, it still hurt... just now, was she questioning if the pain was worth holding on to.

Carol on the other hand, her face turned grim, because she’d dedicated so much time to reliving and feeling guilty. She knew why they’d been arguing, and it should’ve never led to her saying anything remotely close to what she said- nothing should have- but she was angry. She felt trapped, and she wanted to win the argument, so she said the most hurtful thing she could think to say. All ironically, without thinking at all.

“I’d- if you ever would like to extend the invitation, ever again... I wouldn’t say no this time.” There was sincerity, certainty, and pain in her eyes, so much pain, as she tried to convey her emotions. “I wouldn’t want to hide us anymore, if that’s what you’d like. I would go to Florida with you, to meet your family. I’d even go to Texas where your dad is from.” She smiled at the shocked reaction that fell into Therese’s features. “Even though you know I hate the heat... Point is, I want to do anything with you- everything, except I don’t want to do this.” She glanced down to their joined hands and squeezed for emphasis. “I don’t want to fight with you. I don’t want to be away from you, or for you to be away from me...”

Therese looked up at her with a seemingly renewed adoration, finding it easy to do so, easy to just love Carol, because she did- Therese loved Carol. “I haven’t stopped thinking about you since the moment I left.” She admitted truthfully. “And, I can’t stop thinking of you no matter how hard I try. But- Carol, I don’t know how to get past what you said. Every time I’m reminded of you, I think of Abby.”

“I didn’t mean it.” Carol said with conviction. “And we’ve spoken about it, Abby and I. I told her everything. I told her that we got into an argument, and I told her what I said to you, and I-” thoughts of a few nights prior came treading back into her memory. Ones of her hesitating when Abby asked if she meant, how was she so sure when Therese was sitting in front of her but hesitated when she was presented with Abby? And maybe- there lies the question, maybe that’s why Abby didn’t immediately brush it off, and had her doubts as well. Because she hesitated in front of Abby, and everyone else could see. “She asked me if I meant it, and I for some reason couldn’t say no, at least not right away.” Carol was quick to say.

Therese felt a pang of hurt in her chest, mulling over the fact that Carol had openly admitted she couldn't deny Abby right away. She swallowed thickly as she stared at Carol with a renewed sense of trepidation. “And how did she take it?” Only the smallest part of her heart wanted to know, as fear of knowing consumed the rest of her, but somehow she'd managed to ask before she could think better of it.

Carol averted her gaze and hesitated, she was hesitating- again. Because how had Abby taken it? Carol was unsure, Abby had simply left stating that she was feeling too overwhelmed with the new information. But truthfully, Carol wasn’t sure what Abby had thought of it all, that’s why Carol had been so anxious to meet her at the Oak Room, but then Therese had called her name and- panic and frustration seemed to grow when Therese pulled her hands away and shoved them into her lap, causing Carol to regret ever saying anything in the first place. She wanted to fix this, but where was she to start?

“I’ve recently gotten back into photography.” Therese said in an attempt to salvage the conversation after a pregnant pause. She didn’t want to think of their fight, or of their relationship ending. She just wanted to think of- she didn’t want to think at all. “And that’s mostly due to my new job-“ she ventured on to say.

“A new job? Well tell me about it.” Carol was leaning forward now, also desperate to change the subject, and thankful that Therese did.

“It’s nothing really, just a small job taking shots for The New York Times And-“

“The New York Times.” She said in soft astonishment. “Well, Therese that’s amazing...” Carol wanted to be happy, and she was, but the wistful way the words slipped from her lips didn’t go unnoticed. Then she was staring at Therese again, anguish present in her pale blue eyes. “I wish you would have called me. We used to share everything, and nothing like this, what we have going on between us now, would’ve stopped me from being happy for you or celebrating your victory.”

Therese shifted uncomfortably in her seat, because she had wanted to call, the second after she found out her world came tumbling down all around her due to the realization that she couldn’t call. “I should have called you.” Therese conceded.

Carol’s gaze lingered on her and Therese felt slightly as if Carol was looking for something- as if she were trying to gauge something. “I painted a full canvas since you’ve been gone.”

“You’ve taken to painting again? I used to love it when you would paint things for me.” The fond memories hadn’t escaped her as she reminisced. “Or how sometimes when you’d feel a burst of inspiration you’d get so excited to tell me about it. There was an indescribable passion in your voice when you talked about painting.” A slowly arising realization began to dawn on Therese, and it caused her eyebrows to furrow. “But then you stopped... why was that?” She couldn’t ever remember there being a reason for Carol to have given up painting, but she had, and she’d loved it so much.

Carol seemed to ponder that very question. Why did she stop? Truth was, she didn’t know. “I guess, like all things- it must’ve ran it’s course.”

“Yes, but you’ve suddenly taken it up again once I left.” Then a very painful thought crossed Therese’s mind. “Do you think maybe the time apart from me has brought back your inspiration?” Subconsciously, She’d felt a shift in their relationship a long while ago, not that they didn’t love one another, because they so clearly felt strong affections towards each other, just that somewhere along the line Therese didn’t feel the butterflies in her stomach after seeing Carol and Carol’s face wouldn’t light up how it did in the beginning when she saw Therese.

They’d chalked it up to normalcy and growing accustomed to being with each other for so long. Because the excitement has to die down at some point, right? “Possibly, but Therese, darling, it’s not because I’ve been away from you. Maybe it’s just because I have so much time to myself now that I-“

“You can finally do things that you love again.” Had they been lacking that in their relationship, after all Therese had fallen back into photography during their time apart. “Do you think I was suffocating you? That I pushed you too much- too far sometimes and that’s why you said, you should’ve chosen Abby.”

Carol’s heart broke at the distressed look in Therese’s eyes as she tried to piece together the exact moment that they went wrong, because maybe it wasn’t the fight they’d had almost a month ago, maybe there was underlying turmoil that neither of them noticed, and it simply built up and boiled over in one heated moment in time. “Darling, I didn’t mean that. I never felt bad for you. You were charming and sweet, trying to win my affections, and there was never a choice between you or Abby, you’ve always been my choice- the right choice.”

“But Abby never asked you to step out of your comfort zone. She never pushed for you to tell your families about each other.”

“Therese, there was never anything to tell. Abby and I are only friends, just as we’ve always been. Now, let’s make this about us again, you scared me when you kept pushing for us to come out to our families. And I know I’m the instigator in this relationship when it comes to pushing new boundaries, but... that I couldn’t do.” Carol said solemnly. “We just come from different times, my family wouldn’t accept this, they wouldn’t accept you Therese, and that’s the part that scared me. Not their rejection of me, but of you.”

Therese’s breath hitched, and she opened her mouth to speak, but her throat was constricting and she had to cover her face. “Why did you have to lash out at me then? Why couldn’t you have just said that? I would’ve accepted that Carol.”

Carol felt her own sorrow and pain. “Why did you leave me Therese? Why couldn’t you have just stayed for dinner? I could’ve just told you that.”

“But here we are.” Therese answered with bitter remorse, feeling keenly aware of her own mistake that she hadn’t been aware of before. “I think, maybe this time apart has been good. And I-“ she’s cut off by a figure that catches her eyes over the door, and Carol sees, she looks in the direction Therese is looking and she sees Abby, all dolled up.

Green eyes bounce back to blue ones and Therese found herself speechless. Carol had said she was waiting on a friend just not Abby. “I suppose our time is up.” Feeling panicked and afraid Therese would simply walk out on her again and not afford Carol the chance to speak to her, she reached out, effectively halting her.

"Darling, you don't have to leave." Carol practically begged as blue eyes filled with uncertainty.

Therese smiled warmly at her in response, slightly nodding her head. "It seems as though you and Abby still have a few things you need to work out, and I have work in the morning, so I must go."

“When will I see you again?”

Therese glanced towards the door, and Abby had spotted them by now, looking rather apprehensive of approaching. Then she looked back to Carol who only seemed to see her. “I had dinner with Genevieve tonight.” Carol was posed to ask, Therese knew she would wonder. “She’s my boss.” She answered before Carol could speak. “She wanted to offer me an opportunity to travel to Europe through Christmas with her, for work, our senator is meeting with the French Ambassador. She writes the article and I take the photos.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Voice laced with confusion and a hint of anger, that was more than likely fueled by jealousy.

“Because, you asked when you’d see me again- if I do well enough, I could be looking at a promotion, but the job is in Europe.”

Carol blinked, dumbfounded, what exactly was Therese saying? “I’ll never see you again?”

“I’ll be back for the new year, and that’s when I’ll find out if I got the offer.”

“And if you do, will you take it?”

Therese sighed heavily as she thought about it, because she’d just found out herself. Europe was- it was a world away, from all that Therese knew and held dear... but it was also the kind of opportunity that didn’t come around too often, and she was feeling very unsure. “I don’t know.”

And what could Carol do? They hadn’t made up, not completely, she had no right- no say, and then she felt like she was simply in the middle of the ocean drowning, gasping for air and fighting for her life. She was drowning. “Come around for the new year.” Because even if she was dying inside, she’d still celebrate every single one of Therese’s victories. “It may be the last time I’ll have to see you. I’ll put something together.”

Therese wanted to- lean forward and kiss her, but how fair would that be after saying something like that? “And you finish sorting things out with Abby.” Glancing over to see that the woman was now walking towards them. “I’ll be there for the new year.” She promised and Carol melted in the way that Therese assured her of that, basked in one small victory.

“Therese, it’s lovely seeing you here. Will you be staying with us for dinner?” Abby approached and sat her bag down. Therese simply rose to her feet and smiled at the other woman, strangely unable to feel any malice as Abby stared at her with inviting brown eyes.

“I wish I could, but I’ve already eaten. I ran into Carol on my way out and she asked me to stay a while. So I did.” She collected the rest of her belongings and moved around the table so that Abby could take her spot. “But I really must get going now.” She turned to Carol, wanting to do so much more than simply leave her with a goodbye... the New Year was a month away.

But there wasn’t much that she could do really.

“I’ll call you.”

It wasn’t a goodbye, not at all.

 

 


	6. She’s Never Out of Sight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I got back to everyone in the comments this time, in the actual comments! I thank you all for your thoughts, questions and concerns! This chapter is a short one, shorter than usual, but it may be a big feat for our girls, and I’ll let you decide so. I hope you all enjoy!! 
> 
> p.s. I don’t think there will be many more chapters to this baby. I’m thinking maybe somewhere between 3-5 more!!! :/

“She is striking, isn’t she?” Abby asked as her brown eyes followed Therese’s figure until she’d disappeared from the Oak Room all together. She’d only briefly seen her upon her arrival, but Therese looked- she looked as if she’d suddenly blossomed. Her hair was longer now, she dressed smartly, too. She seemed to have more of an edge about herself, exuding a confidence that Abby was sure, wasn’t there before. And she gathered all of that before Therese even spoke to her. Simply, put she looked lovely.

“Ravishing.” Was the only thing Carol could think to say as Therese’s words lingered on her skin, ‘I’ll call you’ gently kissed away some of her most worrisome doubts and uncertainties, leaving Carol a bit breathless and teary eyed. Carol was swooning at the mere thought, already impatiently awaiting for her phone to ring so that she could hear Therese’s voice. The longing she felt in her chest simply commanded that it be acknowledged, Carol couldn’t subdue her her feelings for much longer.

“You love her.” And even though Carol felt overcome with a certain kind of happiness, with her love for Therese, undoubtedly, at least as of recently, came a wave of sadness, almost the moment Abby’s words presented themselves. Because Carol did love Therese- the most in this world, and Therese had told her only moments ago that she may be leaving for good, and Carol couldn’t understand how she had managed to keep her composure upon finding out.

“I do, Abby, I love her.” Carol shrugged one shoulder as if that one phrase was all she had to give to the world- her love for Therese. “And she is so different now, I thought it to be impossible to love her any more than I did before, but seeing her tonight, I- I feel beside myself. I didn’t know, this feeling could be so encompassing.” Because before they split, Carol thought she’d loved Therese with all of her heart, but this- this love she felt presently was completely covetous.

Abby’s eyes dropped, only briefly, before they traveled back up to meet blue ones. “You know, I left the other night,” She started, tucking a few strands of her hair behind her ear. “Without giving you a proper chance to explain yourself because you’d taken me by surprise. I thought maybe for a moment our friendship was on the line, and it possibly was. But I wasn’t prepared to lose you, Carol, not as my friend.” And Abby’s eyes were sad, somehow even she managed to be hurt by this.

“But when you hesitated- I felt as if, maybe I would _have_ to lose you. Because there was never a doubt in my own mind who you truly love. I know you like the back of my hand sometimes I feel like I may know you even better than you know yourself. But then you hesitated- and suddenly, I didn’t know you at all. Who is this uncertain woman who isn’t sure of herself? Who is angry and sad and confused? Carol, who is she? Because I can’t, for the life of me, recognize her.”

Carol felt her heart constrict, even Abby’s eyes were pleading for something- understanding. She felt horrible, how could words- words destroy so much? Pull so many things into question? “Abby, I owe you my sincerest apology.” Carol breathed, wanting to erase the image of Therese and now Abby looking at her with such crestfallen eyes. “It has been brought to my attention, by actions of my own, that maybe I haven’t been behaving like myself. And I would like to blame it on fear, but I’m afraid, that fear is no excuse.” She thought of the whole reason the they were in this predicament in the first place- because Carol had been afraid to tell her family about Therese, and in turn she rebelled and it backfired. Fear, what a condemning emotion.

“Abby, I love you, and you must know that. You are my dearest friend, and I never wish to lose you.” Because it needed to be said, it was important to Carol that Abby knew, none of this would cheapen their friendship, make the relationship that they’ve built any less valuable.

“And I must confess that before I met Therese, I did possess certain feelings for you, but I never said anything. Because you were just so grand, and I was content with simply admiring you. And that’s possibly the reason I hesitated, I don’t know... but what I do know, is that what I feel for Therese is completely different. I am not content with simply gazing at her and not being with her. My feelings won’t allow me to simply admire her, I want- I long for her, every passing day. And I never want her or you or even I to question the relationship between you and me and between her and I.” Carol inhaled deeply, because now there needed to be a change, there was no way they could continue on just as they did before without ever facing the same questions later down the road, certain lines needed to be drawn.

“So what do you suggest we do differently this time, to avoid the questioning.”

Carol smiled at her, wishing all over again that none of this was happening. “Well for starters, I probably shouldn’t ever say what I said, and maybe we should look into getting you a girlfriend of your own, so Therese won’t have to share me so much anymore.” That caused Abby to laugh, and Carol loved that she could find the humor in it all, loved that Abby was so forthcoming in trying to help figure things out.

“No, I just think maybe we need to add a little more space between us.” And Abby’s smile faltered and so did Carol’s. “Not that we can’t see each other or spend time, or do anything we haven’t already been doing, I just can’t devote nearly every waking minute that I’m with or without Therese to our friendship.” Anxious to for Abby to understand, Carol continued to speak when she saw the the way brown eyes seemed to dim.

“I think the reason why our friendship could stand the test of time is because we built it with minimal boundaries and limitations, and we were flexible, understanding and forgiving with one another. -Abby, you and I will be okay.” She confirmed. “You’re not losing me, you’ll never have to worry about that, as I hope that I shouldn’t have to worry about that with you as well. But, we could use a more clear set of boundaries.”

Abby contemplated Carol’s words for a short moment, letting her eyes remain on the table cloth. She could accept everything Carol had said, and if a little space was what they needed, then so be it, just so long as she didn’t have to see such sadness in her friend. “Carol, you are a very remarkable women, and I admire you and the love that you have for Therese immensely. I would never want to impose or be of question, I cherish what we have as friends and what the two of you have as lovers, much too much. Because you are so important to me, and Therese is so evidently apart of you, she in turn is very important to me, and I wish nothing but the best for the two of you.”

There was conviction in her voice, and Carol’s heart was soaring all over again, at what her friend had said. “I’m sorry I just-“ she swiped hastily at her eyes, feeling tears there that she hadn’t been counting on. “Abby you’re too pure for this world sometimes.” And Abby smiled, a dazzling smile. There was a newfound comfort between them, solace in knowing that they were able to figure things out and get past this dangerous rift in their friendship.

“So what are you going to do now? Were you two able to fix things before I got here?” Abby was leaning forward now speaking with a new sense of concern.

“Things between Therese and I still seem complicated at best. But, she said that she would call me... and that she’d come around for the new year.” Carol found herself reaching into her purse for a cigarette, and then thoughts dawned on her- thoughts of her never smoking this much while she’d been with Therese crossed her mind, causing her to retreat her hand all together. “Abby, my biggest fear is that Therese is experiencing all of these new things without being restrained by our relationship, and that she will choose to continue to pursue her goals and grow without me. She’s going to Europe through Christmas, and from that trip she could be presented with a permanent job there.”

“And what will you do if she accepts it.” Abby asked immediately, to which Carol couldn’t help but to shrug her shoulders.

“Well, I guess I would have no choice but to let her go.”

“Just like that?” Because how could Carol simply let her go without a fight?

“Well, if it means she’ll be living her best version of life, then yes. I would let her go without ever fighting or making the decision hard for her. Because I’m happy only when she is happy.”

And that- well, that _is_ love.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was very important to me that Abby wasn’t made out to be the bad guy... It was always my goal for Carol and Abby to get through this without breaking their bond. Because I do think a friendship as great as theirs does deserve a little credit. Basically I want to make sure everyone is brought some justice, because in my opinion no one is the bad guy here!!


	7. For Evermore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi lovely people, it’s been a little longer than I usually take to update, and I do sincerely apologize. The holiday had me all distracted for a little while!! But I’m back with another update, hopefully you guys enjoy reading!! Also please take notice that there will only be one more chapter after this!! :’)

Genevieve- was truly remarkable, she was kind, almost too kind to Therese sometimes- the job, Europe. She could’ve offered the chance to anyone, yet Therese was the one packing her bags, folding clothes neatly and placing them in her suitcase while Genevieve laid sprawled haphazardly on the edge of Therese’s bed just idly staring off into space. She hadn’t said much this evening, and neither had Therese, but the silence was comfortable and neither woman seemed to want it to end- but it was getting late.

When Therese reached for her Canon Genevieve seemed to be snapped out of her own reverie and propped her head up in her hand staring at Therese with a small smile on her face. “May I see that?” She asked, holding out her unoccupied hand in expectance. Therese looked down at the camera, briefly imagining flashes of blonde hair and alluring blue eyes. Carol, who she still hadn’t called, had gotten her this camera on their first Christmas spent together, and Therese had plenty of other cameras but this one- it was the only one Carol had gotten for her.

She was hesitant to hand it to Genevieve but she did so anyway. “Careful with it.” She said softly, never taking her eyes off the device, and she missed the way Genevieve smiled up at her in amusement, clearly ignorant to the depth that one camera held.

“Why are you bringing this? You’ll have your work equipment that you can take photos off of for your personal collection. And no offense, but this camera is a bit out of date.” Green eyes dropped as Therese suddenly felt the need to speak with Carol, just to hear her voice.

“That camera is just as good as any...” she countered weakly, because truthfully Genevieve was right, the technology was a little out of date, but the fact that this would be the first Christmas she and Carol would spend apart in three years had hit Therese harder than she had prepared herself for, and it hurt. The only way she could think to quell that pain was to take a piece of Carol with her to Europe- and the camera Carol had given her... it wielded the ability to immortalize a moment, a memory, memories that Therese hoped she could share with Carol upon her return- as if that could somehow give the false pretense that she’d actually been in Europe with Therese.

Genevieve scoffed and nodded. “Yea, okay. Where did you get this from anyhow?” She asked after more closely inspecting the device. Something flashed in her eyes and suddenly she was more interested in the camera than Therese deemed to be normal. “You know this model was a limited edition?” And no, Therese hadn’t known. She didn’t think it was anything aside from a camera that Carol had went out and gotten for her from the electronic store. “There was only ten of these ever produced. I remember because I wanted one.” She said in awe as she flipped the camera upside down and dragged her fingers over its base. When she reached a small and thin opening, she lifted it up. “This camera, is unique in many ways, one way being that you could have it personally engraved and...” Therese watched Genevieve just as awe stricken, not being savvy to any of this information prior. “Was this a gift?”

Just before Therese could answer Genevieve turned the camera with the piece of it’s base flipped up- ‘I love you’ was engraved there in cursive golden letters. And just when Therese thought she couldn’t be brought any lower, Carol still managed to resonate around her and she was never really a proper match for her. She reached out and gently took the camera, tears swelling in her eyes as she did so, struggling to see the engraving. How had she never known any of this? And Why was Genevieve, of all people, the one to point this out to her?

“I need you to drive me somewhere.” Therese finally said after looking up in shock. “There’s someone I need to see before we leave.” There was an urgency in her voice that had Genevieve agreeing before she could process anything. She watched Therese throw on her coat and move about the room frantically, and it caused her own actions to hold a certain level of panic.

“Is this about the camera?” Genevieve asked only after they were in the car driving to an unbeknownst destination to her. “This is about the camera.” She confirmed when Therese didn’t answer her, instead the woman was still staring down achingly at the words ‘I love you’ etched on her camera. “So am I going to find out what’s this all about?”

“Make a left at the stop sign.” Therese said, ignoring Genevieve’s questions, her mind was too occupied with thoughts of Carol and what this particular ‘I love you’ meant. Therese had received this gift the first Christmas she and Carol spent together, that meant that they’d only been together officially for three months, and Carol had loved her. Therese had always thought she was the one, the pursuer who chased after Carol, and in turn had fallen hard and- _first_. And no, it didn’t matter who said it first, they’d obviously both fallen in love in the end, but maybe Carol just had a more subdued- yet powerful- way of showing her love... and maybe Therese was never really able to grasp that wholly.

And so, the moment Genevieve pulled up to her- Carol’s house Therese flung the door open barely letting the car come to a full stop.

Harge was outside, he was hanging the lights, just as he always did for them, and if Harge was hanging the lights that meant that Abby was over as well. It was their  
Christmas tradition. A few days before the holiday, Harge would hang the lights and Therese would help him, though she’d really only be outside keeping him company while he did all the work. And Carol and Abby would stay inside and talk about things that Harge nor Therese held interest in just before making a dinner that they would all sit down and enjoy in the evening.

“Hey, Therese!” Harge did a double take upon noticing the approaching figure, and even his heart leaped for joy at the site of her, knowing Carol- who hadn’t stopped talking about Therese the entire evening- would be very pleased to see her. “I missed you today, no one was here to keep me company.” Harge was coming down from the top of the ladder and Therese watched him feeling guilt course through her veins, she hadn’t only left Carol, and now she was becoming painfully aware of that.

“I’m sorry, I honestly hadn’t realized the date today.”

Harge smiled just before wrapping his arms around her. “Yea, but if you had, would you have come anyway?” Therese leaned into his hug and smiled sadly, feeling her stomach drop- because there was nothing keeping her away anymore- but no, she wouldn’t have come. Not if she’d noticed the date and not if Genevieve hadn’t pointed out Carol’s engraving.

“I’m sorry.” She said weakly, feeling more aware of the mess that had become of her and Carol’s relationship than she did before.

Harge gave her a reassuring squeeze, as if to say she was forgiven, or he understood and it made her want to cry even more. It made her want to bury her face in his shoulders and just sob, because she messed up too, Therese had left and stayed away and had that really been the appropriate thing to do? “And you brought a friend?” Harge said as he released Therese from his grasp and stepped around her with an outstretched hand towards Genevieve. “Harge, I’m a friend of Therese and Carol.”

“Genevieve.” She smiled and took his hand, slightly leaning to the side to see that Therese was now almost to the front door. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be rude, but who is Carol exactly? And whose house is this?”

Harge flashed her a knowing look, before he turned and led Genevieve up the driveway. “Therese never mentioned Carol?” Genevieve shook her head with silent confusion. “Well, something tells me you’re about to find out exactly who she is.” Harge pointed up the driveway just as a tall blonde woman answered the door, and Genevieve’s first impression was to think just how beautiful this woman- Carol was.

Therese felt her chest rise and fall as she looked up at Carol, she was breathless in her presence and Carol had only answered the door. She was beautiful, even more beautiful than she was at the Oak Room the other night, and this time Carol wasn’t the slightest bit dressed up.

Carol looked at Therese in a bit of astonishment, feeling as if she were in a parallel universe, and when she glanced down she could see that Therese was holding the camera she had gotten her three Christmases ago. And her breath hitched.

“Therese?”

Both Carol and Therese turned when they heard Abby’s voice, she was emerging from the kitchen equipped with a wine glass clasped in her hand. Carol was quick to turn back to Therese, seemingly searching for a response, because even though they’d talked about this- the two of them, her best friend and her girl- ex, still made her quite nervous.

But then Carol’s blue eyes was glancing just past Therese, causing Therese to look behind her. “Who’s your friend?” And it wasn’t Carol’s voice that’d asked the question, instead Abby had stepped beside her best friend upon the realization that there was in fact another surprise guest of the evening, and now she was looking at Genevieve with a twinkle in her eyes, one that Therese was sure she wasn’t mistaking. She knew that look, anybody with eyes knew that look.

“That’s Genevieve.” Therese answered.

“Your boss?” Carol had asked a simple question but there were underlying gestures that seemed to ask totally different questions. “Odd, that you brought your boss to our home.” Our home, Therese looked up at Carol and she couldn’t help but swoon, because even though Therese had revoked her own invitation, had condemned herself from their shared living space- Carol hadn’t. This was and would always be Therese’s home, as far as Carol was concerned.

“She was over at my apartment, and was willing to drive me over here. She was my only means of transportation- to get to you.” Therese said softly and it did nothing to appease the sour look on Carol’s face.

“You could’ve called me, like you said you would. I would’ve come to get you.”

Therese stepped closer to Carol and took her hand, feeling her heart flutter as she did so. Carol was jealous and she did nothing to hide the fact that she felt threatened by Genevieve. But Therese needed her to know that there was nothing there, there couldn’t possibly be when Therese’s affections were so obviously with Carol. “May I speak to you in private?” She leaned in closer and she felt the way Carol’s body shuddered at her hushed tone.

Carol stepped back, just to gain a little space and her composure, but she never released Therese’s hand. She nodded with silent resolution and turned to notify the rest of her guests that she and Therese would be in the sunroom if they were needed, but Genevieve was the sole focus of both Harge and Abby’s attention, no one seemed to notice the two women sneaking off into the house.

Therese entered the sunroom first, clasping her camera to her chest, with a heart that felt both heavy and light she dragged her eyes up and just before she could speak, her eyes landed on the canvas- a canvas painted by Carol that lacked the engraving her camera had but still managed to send the same message. I love you.

Therese practically glided over to it, staring at it in pure heart wrenching amazement. She reached out, grazing her fingertips gently over the matte surface. This painting, it was of the bistro Therese had first told Carol she loved her in, and then green eyes glanced down to the camera in her hand- she was literally holding the moment Carol first said I love you to her.

“Do you like it?” Carol asked nervously from behind Therese. She clasped her hands together in treacherous anticipation and she waited, longing to know what Therese was thinking. Just as she always did. But when Therese didn’t offer her a response Carol grew weary. Every time she saw Therese, now, her heart would break on its own accord. It would weep in her presence, twist and turn in her chest, scream in agony, simply cry out for her- with every pump with every beat her heart only went on for the woman standing in front of her. “Do you remember this place?” Because Carol was sure Therese had forgotten.

“How could I forget?” Therese said wistfully as she turned to face Carol, tears streaming from her doleful green eyes. “How could you think that I would ever forget? This painting, it’s of the day that I first told you that I love you.” Carol had looked shocked, and then pleased- and then as if she suddenly wanted to spew out her own declarations but refrained. And Therese found herself flicking the bottom compartment of her camera up and showing it to Carol as if the woman wasn’t responsible for what was there.

Carol looked at the engraving and then back to Therese, taking turns glancing between the two nervously. “You’ve finally found that old thing? I thought you’d forgotten about it years ago.”

Therese could feel everything in her shatter at the way Carol’s voice trembled. Had Therese been questioning the wrong person’s love this entire time? She pulled the camera back as if Carol threatened to take it and stared down at the engraving again, and it looked new to her every single time. “Everything in this house, in some way, shape, or form says I love you, and I don’t know how I was so blind before. You were the one to say I love you first, I simply didn’t hear it, and you’ve continuously said it time and time again, just not always with words.” Therese wiped at her eyes as she tried to maintain a leveled voice as she spoke. “And I focused so much on your words that I somehow managed to miss- everything else. I’m not sure how I got so complacent with you Carol, you never deserved that. You never deserved any of this. I’m sorry.”

“Darling, it’s okay.” _I love you_. “I forgive you.” _I love you._ “My own level of comfortability can be brought into question as well.” _I love you_ , again. “I should’ve never been able to make you question my love for you, you should’ve been able to refute any doubt that was ever placed in you, even if it were about something I said.” Again, _I love you_... had even Carol’s words resonated with love every time they spoke and Therese simply missed it each time? “I don’t ever want you to think that I don’t love you because I do- with all of my heart. Only you and no one else.” Well, that ‘I love you’ was pretty obvious to find.

“Come here.” Carol had said with a renewed sense of longing, holding both of her arms out, she stood with an inviting smile that simply begged for Therese to be near her. Therese stared at her for a few fleeting seconds feeling an eruption of butterflies in her stomach at the fact that Carol had forgiven her without quarrel. What had she done to deserve this strange, and beautiful person? Without so little as an outward warning, Therese stood on the tips of her toes falling into Carol’s embrace, she brought her hand up snaking it around the back of Carol’s head and pulled her into an earth shattering kiss. It was as if she’d spent an extended period of time underwater and this was the first time her deprived body was able to receive oxygen again.

Carol moved closer, snaking her arms around Therese’s waist, and pulling their bodies flush up against each other. There was a metaphorical warmth between them, it called for intimacy and closeness. Carol wanted more of Therese- always, and Therese simply couldn’t get enough of Carol- never.

Therese’s lips quivered against Carol’s, she hadn’t remembered a feeling so extraordinary. And it was in that moment she realized that she could never let this go. It was in that particular moment, standing in the embrace of her lover expressing her love through their most passionate kiss, that Therese realized she couldn’t continue on another week, another day, even another minute separated from the beautiful being in front of her.

“Carol, I’m not going to Europe... I want to come home.” She managed to say between kisses and Carol halted, pulling away from her slowly. She laid both of her hands on each side of Therese’s face feeling overcome with emotion, as she stared into loving green eyes- and god, she thought Therese would never look at her that way again. Leaning down she kissed her once, and then twice, nodding her head as she did so.

“Please come home my love.”

X

Just in the kitchen Abby stood leaning on the counter, drink in her hand, as she watched Genevieve with engaged eyes. She was gorgeous, and enticing, Abby felt drawn to Genevieve the moment she caught sight of her. “What would you say if I asked you out?” Abby finally asked, breaking the silence, and Genevieve looked over to her feeling a bit flustered and caught off guard by the question, but she didn’t seem the least bit repulsed.

“Abigail-“

“Please, call me Abby.”

Genevieve smiled, and nodded. “Abby,” She corrected. “I’d say- I’d love to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Abby and Genevieve... even I can ship it. :) also!!!! No one noticed my evermore lyrics as the chapter titles :/ (it’s from beauty and the beast) But, here’s an insider, that song inspired me to finally sit down and write this fic!


	8. Everything Comes Full Circle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this is the final chapter... I’d just like to give my sincerest thanks to everyone of you. It brings me so much joy that I can share this fic (my first Carol fic) with you all. It was a roller coaster! And I hope this final chapter doesn’t disappoint.

Carol was swept away in a moment, and she was cursing herself even while Therese was peppering desperate kisses down her neck. She felt panic arise in her chest; they were moving too fast she thought- everything just seemed too easy. But nothing came this simple, Carol was wise enough to know that from prior experiences. What would happen in the morning? Therese had made a decision on a whim to throw away an opportunity that could change her life, and Carol—? Could she truly be okay with standing by and letting her do such a thing?

The mere thought alone made her shudder, and suddenly she was desperate for space, placing two firm hands on either side of Therese she squeezed gently and urged her to take a few steps back, causing a wave of confusion to wash over Therese’s features... hadn’t this been what they’ve both been waiting for? And Carol knew, she knew that what she was about to do was pure stupidity, especially when Therese had made it clear only mere moments ago that she wanted to come home.

“What’s the matter?” Therese searched blue eyes for an answer, not understanding why she could easily find so much sadness. The sight alone made her breath hitch and a certain level of dread began to wash over her as she immediately began to regret her revelation. Her heart was thudding so hard- so very loudly- and oh so painfully in her chest that her hand instinctively laid across her ribcage. There was an unmistakeable amount of tension in the air and Therese was almost angry, at everything and at nothing at all. This was the moment- _their_ moment. So why was Carol still looking at her as if Therese was breaking her heart all over again? Soon she felt her own tears swell in her eyes as she questioned the validity of everything that had just transpired. “I’m sorry...” she mumbled softly.

Carol had stood silently and watched an array of emotions pass across Therese’s face as she looked at her feeling utterly stricken. “Darling, don’t apologize, nothing that has happened between us in these past few moments warrant an apology.” She was quick to say, feeling a keen sense to wrap Therese in her arms, but keeping her distance for fear that if she held Therese so close she wouldn’t be strong enough to let her go. So Carol stood there in all her painful glory, while a bitter battle between her brain and her heart slowly killed her.

“Please tell me what’s wrong, because I thought this was what we both wanted.” Therese’s voice cracked and her hands were shaking when she motioned between their two bodies. “I love you.” And it sounded most synonymous to a feeble plea than that of a heartfelt declaration, because Therese was unsure- Carol was making her feel very unsure about everything.

There was a pregnant and mournful silence that filled the air making it impossible for either woman to breath easily. Carol’s own thoughts were torturous as her conversation with Abby the other night played in her head. She said she would let Therese go if a better life was made available to her, but now that Therese was willing to throw everything away so easily for her— Carol found herself stuttering, she couldn’t really urge Therese to leave. The selfish parts of her screamed for her to fall back into the kiss, to forget everything, to just let it all be and live ignorantly as if she didn’t remember the conversations she and Therese used to have about a potential career in photography. As if she didn’t remember the twinkle in Therese’s eyes as she talked about earning a living as a respected photographer one day. But could Carol live with herself if she felt as though she was the reason Therese was robbed of an opportunity such as this one? With a heavy sigh and an even heavier heart, blue eyes disappeared behind closed lids. “You have to go to Europe with Genevieve.”

Her words cut through the tense air like a knife, gently resonating through Therese’s ears before slowly stabbing her in the heart. The affect, the feeling had her clutching at the fabric of her shirt to try and ease the pain. “Carol.” She was shocked to say the least, never in a million years did Therese think Carol would advocate for her to leave especially when she had made it clear that she wished for nothing more than Therese’s return. “I don’t want to go to Europe, I want to stay here with you.”

“Then you’re a fool.”

Therese looked at her as if she suddenly didn’t recognize her. This was a new sort of heartbreak she was feeling. In all of their years, Carol had never pushed her away- never. And Therese, having not experienced this side of her lover before, felt desperate. “Don’t call me that.” She sniffled as she wiped away a few stray tears. “Why are you being like this?”

“I’m sorry.” She couldn’t help it. But Therese needed to know that there wasn’t a way for them to carry on so blissfully knowing what Therese had given up for them to be together. “I’m sorry darling, but you have to go. You simply can’t throw away this opportunity as if it is something that comes around often. You can’t give it all up for me.”

“No,” Therese responded tersely, feeling her sadness slowly being consumed with anger. “You can’t make decisions for me-“

“I’m not trying to.” Carol cut in.

“You are!” Therese cried. “That’s exactly what you’re doing, you’re making the decision for me to go to Europe. Well what if they want me? What if they offer me the job, and I take it Carol? Then what?” She was fierce even while the whites of her eyes were red and filled with unshed tears and she should’ve looked sad and hurt, she still managed to portray her anger.

“Darling, I have no doubt that they will offer you the job.” And even if she was completely aware of her actions and what she was currently about to sabotage, Carol’s heart still constricted. “That’s why you must go. This could be groundbreaking.”

Therese straightened her posture feeling embarrassed and pathetic that she was ever in such a rush to get over here. The thought caused her to let out a bitter laugh as she began to shake her head. “I’m an idiot.”

“You’re not, don’t-“

“Clearly I am.” She let out something between a scoff and a sob. “Here I am, running towards you willing to put you before everything, and here you are just-...” Therese looked at her regretfully but the saddest parts of her heart still cried out and the plea in her green eyes was evident. She willed herself to wake up from this awful nightmare, wrapped in Carol’s arms. But this nightmare was never ending, it seemed to be their reality now.

“I love you, and that’s why I can’t let you give this up. Who would I be if I didn’t encourage you to become who you’re meant to be? Wasn’t it you who questioned where it was exactly that we went awry and that maybe you were suffocating me during our relationship?” Therese stayed silent, unable to look Carol in the eyes. “It was your own realization that we were able to fall back into our own personal rhythms with space and time, and I’m not saying this cannot be achieved with each other but maybe our problem wasn’t suffocation or constantly being in each other’s spaces. Maybe this was our problem- you and I both can be very—  _intense_ , and we make decisions in a split second purely fueled by emotions. We’re both guilty of it, and in these moments we don’t think of the outcomes or the consequences. We just- we only think of how we feel, and that can be very volatile. I mean look at what I was able to do, due to something I said to you out of anger? Do you think that I would have ever uttered those words if I’d actually realized what I was saying and how gravely it would affect us?”

  
“If you throw this opportunity away, I don’t think that you and I could possibly continue on. Though I do love you, and I hate that we’ve spent time apart and under such extenuating circumstances, you cannot backslide on the progress you’ve made and especially not for me... so you must go.”

And what could Therese possibly say after that? She didn’t have the energy to fight, because Carol had laid it all out. Therese couldn’t have her if she stayed, but she’d lose her anyway if she left. “Well that’s that.” It came out strained, and Therese wondered how many times the human heart was capable of breaking before it stopped beating, because she felt as if she was running out of time.

“Therese, I hope that you can see that I love you with all my heart and I only want what’s best for you.”

“What an eloquent way to break my heart.” Therese said dejectedly feeling as if the floor she was standing on had been ripped right from under her. She had lost her footing and now she was falling to her painful demise as the realization sunk in that maybe she and Carol were never going to be able to fix things. There were too many factors now, she found herself wishing she could go back in time and never have told Carol about Europe or even further than that- she was wishing she’d never left in the first place. “So then this is goodbye.” But even she couldn’t bring herself to accept it as her tears began to cloud her eyes and Carol’s form completely blurred behind them.

But it wasn’t! It wasn’t a goodbye, never a goodbye. Carol felt herself panicking as Therese brushed past her with her hand half covering her face. It had sounded as if she’d said a goodbye and thinking back on her words Carol could see exactly why. But that’s not what she’d meant at all. She should’ve said ‘Therese go to Europe and I’ll wait for you, I’ll follow you if need be.’ But she hadn’t, Carol had only told Therese to just go, and now she was leaving with the thought of Carol saying goodbye to her, and that wasn’t the case.

By the time she gathered her bearings and made her way into the kitchen where Abby and Harge stood exchanging dumbfound expressions, both Therese and Genevieve were gone. Leaving no trace that they were ever there in the first place, and Carol would’ve thought she imagined it all if she wasn’t currently suffering from the residual heartbreak that Therese had left behind, or if the canon that declared her love was so haphazardly forgotten behind in the sunroom.

The very next morning just after eight a.m. Therese and Genevieve boarded their flight. It took a measly ten hours to fly to a whole new world, with different people, a different culture and a different language... and for Therese to finally see that Carol hadn’t been pushing her away at all. It wasn’t until she laid eyes on the Eiffel Tower and fell in love with this new land and their weird fashions that Therese felt gravely aware of her mistake. Carol was an angel- her angel. And she had been right to push Therese to take this opportunity, because now the young woman was experiencing new things and falling in love with a place she otherwise would’ve never given a second thought had she stayed in her bubble of comfort.

But Carol wouldn’t have allowed her to do that, and why was it now that she decided to see everything so clearly? Why hadn’t she just asked Carol to come with her?—

X

She hadn’t been expecting it, a letter in the mail, handwritten in French. It was a few days after a miserable Christmas and she hadn’t heard a peep from Therese. Thoughts had plagued her over the holiday that things were really over, but she held out hope thinking that Therese would come to her after getting back to the states. Nothing could have prepared her for the sadness that encompassed her upon hearing that Genevieve had met with Abby baring small tokens from France with no sign of Therese, and it was even worse that she didn’t know if Therese had gotten the job or not.

She was left wondering and her sadness had slowly turned into frustration. Irritation nipped at the edges of her heart from the constant feeling of abandonment. Therese had done it again, she left without ever letting Carol explain, even though Carol had done most of the talking during their last encounter, Therese still left hastily without letting Carol clarify.

And now Carol was staring down at a letter in a language she couldn’t decipher. The only intelligible words on the paper were that of an address, in New York, but it wasn’t an establishment she was familiar with. There was a date and time for tonight, and Carol felt unsure of going. There was a growing suspicion that the letter had been sent from Therese but she didn’t dare get her hopes up.

X

Therese looked down at her clothes wondering if she should order champagne or not. She didn’t even know if Carol would show tonight, Therese was only hanging on to hope at this point. But she wouldn’t be surprised if Carol decided not to come especially with how she’d left things previously. She only wished upon every star in the sky the woman would give her one last chance. Because if Carol came, then there was still hope. And Therese had went through a great amount of trouble to make tonight happen.

“I thought that it may have been you who sent me this letter.” Carol’s soft sultry voice pulled Therese out of her musings and caused the woman to stand in her presence, slightly taken by surprise.

Green eyes glanced down to the folded piece of paper Carol was holding up before she moved to hug her. And despite Carol’s own inner turmoil she returned the hug, always able to push any apprehensiveness aside to offer Therese whatever kindness and gentleness she held in her heart.

“I didn’t think you would come.” Therese said sounding and looking as if she didn’t believe Carol was standing in front of her at this very moment. “Please have a seat, there’s something I want to talk to you about— I have something to ask you.” She motioned towards the seat in front hers and Carol sat obediently, patiently waiting to hear what Therese had to say.

“Carol, I want to extend my deepest apology to you. You are more pure than I could ever wish to be.” Therese needed to say exactly what she had intended to say before she lost her nerve, there wasn’t time for pleasantries. “And I love you more than anything, it’s important for you to know. Because I have acted in a way that may have insinuated otherwise not once but twice, and I somehow only manage to see the bigger picture after I’ve had time to calm down and think things through. You were right Carol, we are very much alike and I think this time apart has not only been a very good thing but also a very necessary thing for us- or for me, more specifically, to come to the realization that I still have a lot of growing and learning to do but...”

Therese trailed off as she reached down and shuffled through her purse, and Carol dropped her gaze to look at the eloquently folded napkins that accompanied her silverware. So this was what Therese invited her out for. This was why she wanted to meet. To say goodbye once and for all this time? Carol willed herself to stay calm and to allow Therese to finish her thoughts before she jumped ahead of herself. But when Therese finally retrieved what she was looking for in her purse and looked up at Carol holding a thin envelope with timid green eyes her throat went dry.

Therese’s hands were shaking as she placed the envelope on the table and slid it to Carol. “But if it’s okay with you, I’d like to continue this journey of growth with you. I want this Carol, I want us.” And it was as simple and as complicated as that.

Carol looked down to the envelope and immediately knew what it had been. “You got the job.” She said in soft astonishment, though she never doubted the extent in which how far Therese’s talents would take her, it still felt as though Carol had been dreaming.

“I did.” Therese confirmed, never taking her eyes away from Carol’s beautiful face. “Open the letter, it’s an acceptance to be apart of French Vogue Magazine.” There was underlying pride in her voice as Carol slowly did as she was told. “I’ll make enough money for two- more than two even.” The suggestion was there, an invitation unvoiced lingered in the air as Carol pealed the paper open as if she was unveiling the world’s most treasured secret. And just as she pulled back the last flap, an extra piece of paper fell onto her lap causing her to look down in astonishment. Carol picked up the offended object and looked to Therese with an unsure gaze. “Come with me to France.” Therese declared softly— lovingly. 

Carol had been mostly silent through this entire exchange, expecting certain outcomes and hoping for others. But when she’d open the letter and a one way ticket to France appeared in her lap, she almost couldn’t contain herself. Her stomach lurched with happiness and— Therese had come back for her. She came back for her! There was so much she wanted to say, so many things she wanted to _do_ , and yet forming a coherent thought seemed to very last thing she was capable of in that moment. “Therese, darling, this is all so sudden.”

Green eyes softened at her love as Carol was still in awe gazing at her plane ticket. “I knew you would say something like that.” She said adoringly, though there was an underlying melancholy tone in her voice at the fact that Carol hadn’t said yes immediately. But this was what she’d learned: sometimes every action didn’t warrant an immediate reaction or response— even if said action  _was_ the boldest declaration of her love that she’d ever given. Even then, some things still needed to be thought about, she was asking Carol to leave her home, her friends, and her life behind in only two days. It was a big decision.

“Therese- I...”

“You don’t have to make a decision right now, take some time to think about it.” She exuded a newfound maturity that Carol ached to see more of, longed to explore. And then green eyes jumped from Carol’s eyes back onto the table. “Do you want to know what that says?” Therese asked as she pointed to the note she’d sent Carol in the mail.

“I do.” Carol nodded as she moved to give the letter to Therese, but the woman declined it, already having  memorized it.

“Carol, urge me not to leave you so that I may stay. Encourage me to leave and I will leave, but not without you, my love. Wherever you go, I will go. Wherever you lodge, I will lodge. And where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. For nothing in this life is worth having, if I cannot have it with you.”

X

Therese sat at her terminal feeling anxious, Carol never did give her an answer, and now she was afraid she’d never get one. As the flight attendant made the last boarding call for their flight, Therese felt a sinking feeling in her chest. Maybe she hadn’t been clear enough. Maybe Carol had gotten confused on the dates. Maybe there had been some sort of accident. Just any other explanation aside from Carol not choosing her. Because that was a reality too harsh for Therese to deal with, and she wouldn’t be able to take it. She’d miss this flight if it really came down to it. She was just hoping for a miracle so that she wouldn’t have to.

Her miracle came in the form a voice, from somewhere behind her, in all of her anxious worrying Therese completely missed the blonde who stood only a few feet behind her staring with the most loving gaze in her eyes. “Hey stranger!” When Therese turned her heart nearly exploded with happiness at the sight of Carol standing just beside the boarding line, cutely with her carry-on. “I think we have a plane to catch.”

There was a moment that passed and somehow the bustling airport all around them had quieted, as they shared a look of love and excitement. This was their second chance at happiness and neither woman dared to take that for granted.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The excerpt Therese wrote Carol (the French letter) was heavily inspired by the note Sydney wrote to Maggie (two of my other favorite girls) in their final scene. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, just YouTube Maggie and Sydney airport scene. You’ll know. It’s a quote from the Book of Ruth (in the Bible!) But I changed it a little. 
> 
> It’s been so great, thank you guys for such a warm welcome into this awesome fandom. I truly appreciate it and I hope to write more about Carol and Therese in the future! But first, I actually have my own flight to Europe over the holidays! Please, if you feel compelled to do so, leave one last comment! :) see you all soon. -xo


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